20080508
To introduce myself would be postponed. I'm upset today. I know the reason why I'm not in a good situation today. I know how I am sorry to niuniu. I have waste of so much time. Although I have been to strive for so long time. But the result is so disappointed. I have been seek the true love but I failed. No one understand me. The only thing I could do is to strive, not for love, but for money. I can't change others' attitude. I have to be used to the environment. But I know, In the deep of my heart, It have never changed. Because no one understand me, so I will hide it. I'm a heartful man. But heartiness means nothing in other's eyes. I know the first thing is to earned much money and let Niuniu and my parents could live a comfortable life. and I know it's has nothing to do with the love. The love will give to the one who know my heart. I don't know whether there is a lover in the world waiting for me, But I know I will wait for her until she come to my life, no matter how long it is, even with my whole life, I will be the same.
In nowadays, possessions is so important to many people, I couldn't escape from it. Today, I leave the heart, but I know I will be back some day. Then every thing I do just adjust to my heart, not my heart adjust to something else. Because the true love is the only thing what I seek for forever!
20080509
It's too late. the time to go to bed. But I have to finish the task of today's freewriting. I hope I will enjoy freewrting, not to take it as a task. It's very good that I feel much better, when I was watching the CCTV 9 news. I was almost able to follow the pace of the news reporting. But I shouldn't content with this. There is a long way to go for I can think in english. I hope one day, I speak english just as fluent as speaking my mother tongue. Ok, tomorrow, my sister will come to Chengdu and I will go to the station to meet her. I plan to show her around in the chengdu. I know it's not easy for her in recent years. I hate myself. So many years I have been studying, but just can't bring some changes to my family in essence. Tonight, as before writing the english essay, I even want to sleep and finish the articles tomorrow morning. How can I be this, And I don't know how bad of my situation? No, I should remember how humiliating I was in the past. If I don't complete my schedule today? What's the time is suitable? Tomorrow? Even it is, But how about tomorrow's schedule? So Just hold on today, don't waste of a little time, because the future depends on what I am doing today!
20080510
I should complete the free writing yesterday, but I didn't. Because my sister stayed one day where I lived in. I had to be with her. So I am writing it now. Yesterday, my sister came to Chengdu, I meet her in the sation. She weared a thick coat, but the weather was so hot. I felt very sad. And for I meet her at one hour and a half later about she reached Chengdu, so she had to move a very heavy bag over a few avenues to the train station. The big bag, for me, a young man, is very heavy. So how hard my sister is unimaginable. When I was young, at 12 age, I began to be in residence. So the living became more and more far away to my family, to my sister. I loved them very much, often missed them. But to seek for the knowledge, I had to left them. And now, I felt very sorry to my sister. My family is poor, so she discontinued her study after she graduated from middle shcool. Nowadays, my sister and her husband earned money very hard. I have the responsibility to help them. I would never forget about these things, I have to do my best to change their situation, as I know, they need me very much.