[摘要]很多中国人在说英语时有时会不经意间说出一些“中式英语”，不仅老外听到会摸不清头脑，中国人看到了也常常忍俊不禁。做好准备，下面就为你盘点那些让人爆笑的中式英语，看的时候一定要坐稳喽！
1．we two who and who？ 咱俩谁跟谁阿
2．how are you ? how old are you? 怎么是你，怎么老是你？
3．you don’t bird me,I don’t bird you 你不鸟我，我也不鸟你
4．you have seed ，I will give you some color to see see 你有种，我要给你点颜色看看
5．Government abuse chicken 宫暴鸡丁
6．At KFC, We do Chichen Right 在肯德基，我们做鸡是对的
7．You Give Me Stop! 你给我站住！
8．Chop the strange fish 生鱼块
9．watch sister 表妹
10．take iron coffee 拿铁咖啡
11．American Chinese not enough 美中不足
12．Where cool where you stay！哪凉快上哪呆着
13．heart flower angry open 心花怒放
14．colour wolf 色狼
15．dry goods 干货
16．want money no; want life one! 要钱没有，要命一条
17．People mountain and people sea. 人山人海
18．you have two down son。 你有两下子。
19．let the horse come on 放马过来
20．I give you face you don’t wanna face 给你脸你不要脸
21．red face know me 红颜知己
22．seven up eight down 七上八下
23．no three no four 不三不四
24．do morning *** 做早操；do class between *** 做课间操
25．you try try see！你试试看！
26．love who who 爱谁谁
27．look through autumn water 望穿秋水
28．go you mother's 去你妈
29．May I borrow your light？ 借光
30．Handsome Year, Morning Die 英年早逝
31．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse’son can make hole!龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子会打洞
32．morning three night four 朝三暮四
33．king eight eggs 王八蛋
34．no care three seven twenty one 不管三七二十一
35．go and look 走着瞧
36．poor light egg 穷光蛋
37．ice snow clever 冰雪聪明
38．first see you，i **** love you 第一次见你，我便爱上了你
39．horse horse tiger tiger 马马虎虎
40．no money no talk 没钱免谈
41．hello everybody! if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!! 有事起奏，无事退朝
42．you me you me 彼此彼此
43．know is know， noknow is noknow 知之为知之，不知为不知...
44．watch sisiter 表妹
45．American Chinese not enough 美中不足
46．one car come one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die 车祸现场描述
47．go past no mistake past 走过路过，不要错过
48．小明：I am sorry! 老外：I am sorry too!
小明：I am sorry three! 老外：What are you sorry for?
小明：I am sorry five!
49．If you want money,I have no; if you want life,I have one!
要钱没有，要命一条
50．I call Li old big. toyear 25. 我叫李老大，今年25。
51．you have two down son。你有两下子
52. dry mother 干妈
中文：请勿交谈，以防飞沫
英文：Please No Conversation, No Saliva
翻译：禁止交谈，禁止唾液
中文：留住花的美，体现您的美
英文：For the sake of everyone's enjoyment, please do pick the flowers
翻译：为了娱乐别人，请务必摘花
中文：滥用胶袋，需缴费每个2元。
英文：To abuse plastic bag, please pay money each 2 dollar
翻译：如果想要虐待塑料袋，请缴费每个2元
中文：有毒有害垃圾
英文：Poisonous & Evil Rubbish
翻译：有毒邪恶垃圾
中文：您给我一份爱心，我给您一片温馨
英文：Give me your love, and I will make you peel at home
翻译：给我你的爱，我会让你在家里剥皮
中文：餐饮后，请将椅子归位并带走您的垃圾，谢谢
英文：Please Keep chair on position & Keep table cleaned after dying. Thanks for your corporation.
翻译：死之后请保持椅子的位置及桌子的清洁。谢谢您的企业。
源自：http://edu.qq.com/a/20150205/021977.htm