• 今天看到一些笑话...


    不知道是否能直接访问到
    http://groups.google.com/group/programpara/browse_thread/thread/c0d1bac8e66fc709/d063911dfc90f9bf#d063911dfc90f9bf
    还是贴一遍吧...

    These are from a book called "Disorder in the Courts of America", and
    are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and
    now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm
    while these exchanges were actually taking place.

    ATTORNEY:~~~ What is your date of birth?
    WITNESS:~~~~~ July 18th.
    ATTORNEY:~~~ What year?
    WITNESS:~~~~~ Every year.
    _____________________________________

    ATTORNEY:~~~ What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
    WITNESS:~~~~ Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
    ______________________________________

    ATTORNEY:~~ This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
    WITNESS:~~~~ Yes.
    ATTORNEY:~~ And in what ways does it affect your memory?

    WITNESS:~~~~ I forget.
    ATTORNEY:~~ You forget? Can you give u! s an example of something you
    forgot?
    _____________________________________

    ATTORNEY:~~~~ How old is your son, the one living with you?

    WITNESS:~~~~~ Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
    ATTORNEY:~~~~ How long has he lived with you?
    WITNESS:~~~~~~ Forty-five years.
    ____________________________________

    ATTORNEY:~~~ What was the first thing your husband said to you that
    morning?
    WITNESS:~~~~~ He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
    ATTORNEY:~~~ And why did that upset you?
    WITNESS:~~~~~ My name is Susan.
    ______________________________________

    ATTORNEY:~~~ Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in
    voodoo?

    WITNESS:~~~~~ We both do.
    ATTORNEY:~~~ Voodoo?
    WITNESS:~~~~~ We do.
    ATTORNEY:~~~ You do?
    WITNESS:~~~~~ Yes, voodoo.
    __________________________________

    ATTORNEY:~~~ Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
    sleep, he doesn't know ! about it until the next morning?

    WITNESS:~~~~ Did you actually pass the bar exam?
    __________________________________

    ATTORNEY:~~~~~ The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
    WITNESS:~~~~~~~~ Uh, he's twenty-one...
    ____________________________________

    ATTORNEY:~~~ Were you present when your picture was taken?
    WITNESS:~~~~~ Would you repeat the question?
    _____________________________________

    ATTORNEY:~~~~~ She had three children, right?
    WITNESS:~~~~~~~ Yes.
    ATTORNEY:~~~~~ How many were boys?
    WITNESS:~~~~~~~ None.
    ATTORNEY:~~~~~ Were there any girls?
    ______________________________________

    ATTORNEY:~~~ How was your first marriage terminated?
    WITNESS:~~~~~ By death.
    ATTORNEY! :~~~ And by whose death was it terminated?
    ______________________________________

    ATTORNEY:~~~~~ Can you describe the individual?
    WITNESS:~~~~~~~ He was about medium height and had a beard.
    ATTORNEY:~~~~ Was this a male or a female?
    ______________________________________

    ATTORNEY:~~~~~ Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
    deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
    WITNESS:~~~~~~~ No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
    ______________________________________

    ATTORNEY:~~~~~ Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on
    dead people?

    WITNESS:~~~~~~~ All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
    ______________________________________

    ATTORNEY:~~~~~ ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you
    go to?
    WITNESS:~~~~~~~ Oral.
    ______________________________________

    ATTORNEY:~~~ Do you recall the time that you examined the body
    WITNESS:~~~~~ The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
    ATTORNEY:~~~ And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
    WITNESS:~~~~~ No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing
    an autopsy on him!
    ______________________________________

    ATTORNEY:~~~ Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
    WITNESS:~~~~~ Huh?
    ____________________________________

    ATTORNEY:~~ Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for
    a pulse?
    WITNESS:~~~~ No.
    ATTORNEY:~~ Did you check for blood pressure?
    WITNESS:~~~~ No.
    ATTORNEY:~~ Did you check for breathing?
    WITNESS:~~~~ No.
    ATTORNEY:~~ So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
    began the autopsy?
    WITNESS:~~~~ No.
    ATTORNEY:~~ How can you be so sure, Doctor?
    WITNESS:~~~~ Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    ATTORNEY:~~~ But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
    WITNESS:~~~~ Yes, it is possible that he could have been! alive and
    practicing law.

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  • 原文地址:https://www.cnblogs.com/kaikai/p/286343.html
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